Ephemeral, Life is. But, ehm..Trivial?
Hmm. It's perhaps so trivial, but it strucked me just now, opening 'upcoming birthday' tab on Friendster. --you guys who has an FS account sure know it!--anyway, what's made me a lil unease was that the first name appears on it. Arinal. Arinal's Birthday is TODAY. I sure remember that name, a long companion o'mine, since high school. I still remember when he entered class 2-2, just transfered from Brebes, which was also my hometown...I also remembered how he always smile, like no-matter-what-smile. On how he was always been teased by his friends, On how he was the icon 'cow'.... I then also remembered how I received the notice, of him died on the road back to Brebes 2 years ago.
*sigh*
Seeing his friendster page is like part of him is still living. Of course it'd be spookier if one day his friendster page goes down, or notticing somewhat like,"This page is no more available due to the unliving state of the user". uuh. Eerie.
Seeing close persons passing life, is to remind us of how the whole idea of living, is truly ephemeral. Short.
There's always momemnts when I'm being noticed of how brief life could be. Often, it leads to another question, what're we looking for in life? d-Uh, I know, cliche as it seems, but for me it so uneasy to answer. Sometimes I hope I could just live and just die in the end. To endure anything that comes in life. Uhuh, yea rite and what about Life Goal? Fortune? Recognition? Awh, all that Maslow theorem? tsk. do they worth of niggling? Ambition, success, and fortune is derived from how the society perceives LIFE. and everything's perceived become 'logic'. so logically, everybody should have ambitions, goals, gain their successes, have happy families, to die in great dignity, etc, etc...How 'life' has been adulterated, impurified by such depiction. It might be true, maybe that's exactly what life is--to be in the, so called Maslow Chain, whereas each sequence is definite. Seeing life that way, it's not that grand no more, is it? It's mere phases. Oh, Could I just..Live? Just like...ehm, Forrest Gump? and not to be attached by how the society perceives life? Suppose not. :-. you, we, ARE the society. So be put. You're part of the system.
Anyway, do you remember the illustration on the end of 'Man In Black' movie, where the image zooms out, from very tiny molecules of ours, to what we are, what we're doing, to what our environment look like from a bird point of view, until our green-blue world turns into one little dots in the galaxy, which itself is apparantly only a marble to somekinda alien, alien in its own world, in its own galaxy which, is apparently a golf ball to a...nother alien%$^@!!? Oh, it's fictional, but it's SO true, on how our lives are TRIVIAL.
Hehe =p Of course it's inapropriate to depict God as an Industrial Engineer. But if is--in a sense of impossibility, of course, Adtagfirullah--, our grand scheme of living, birth, successes, pedigrees, deaths is like building an insurance simulation, mere statistics randomly derived from Poisson distribution! Birth, Death, Birth, Death, Birth, Birth, Death, Birth...number of trials : definite. Each of us are assigned ID, each with its' own queuing number-A number unidentified to ourselves until the time we're then called. to Rahmatullah.
The Idea, hm..tickles me at times I feel so unfocused. Trying this and that, until this moment I haven't been persistent on the goal, one goal of life that should be planned in the first place. I always feel somekinda failure to waste my time on things I know wouldn't aim anything for the goal, or whatever I'd do for the rest of my life. But then, if it's so trivial, why should I have any goal anyway? Because we're only given one shot and such brief time to accomplish it? What's 'it' anyway ? *_*
If life could be so short, I wouldn't have second chance to try it, would I? Why should I bother being persistent and eradicate all other possibilities? It's this moment, or never.--Even if I believe on reincarnation, I wouldn't take my chances. Huh? What? What if I was reincarnated to be a dragonfly? erh...
Anyway, I should stop blabbering. It's totally bootless. As bootless as the time you'd spent reading all the bickering above. Your time is THAT precious!! A reminder for myself.
^_^ What d heck, It was just a fleet of thought...stupid one. don't mind.
Of course,what we're doing in this very ephemeral lives of ours is only to enhance life. For ourselves and others. In every possible way. Aren't we? Even a bit change would count and recorded into the statistics..., and I now realize, like stock movement, the change would be more significant if we stick on one focused pattern, and not be diversified by the whole spectrum of lives may bring about in our lives.
What's the number of my life contributes to the delta? hm. I wonder.
21. beatified that I've given chance to encounter my 21st Lebaran.Alhamdulilah. And hopefully my 22nd...Amin...
And guys, Minal Aidin Wal Faidzin. Please DO forgive me. as I always do U.
***
Anyway, I wonder, If I'm dead, would you still be visiting my FS page? or my blog? how would you remember me? Ehm, Even if you put testimonials, I couldn't be able to approve them, could I? hehe, That'd be creepy. But,=( How sad.
Seeing his friendster page is like part of him is still living. Of course it'd be spookier if one day his friendster page goes down, or notticing somewhat like,"This page is no more available due to the unliving state of the user". uuh. Eerie.
Seeing close persons passing life, is to remind us of how the whole idea of living, is truly ephemeral. Short.
It could be tomorrow, or just this few minutes, after drinking a glass of soda, or on the railroad, or while I'm hitting 120km/h on the highway, or in the bathroom, or perhaps when I go sightseeing on Baturaden's rotten bridge--[whew, just saw the news on this one. so ironic, and tragic]. The picture usually goes so vivid in my head, like slideshows played on dull screens, an image of how I'd jump off the cliff while I was on a narrow path on mountains or on a building's roof, on how my my beetle and me in it would swerved, plunged and rolled until crashed on the pavement..urgh.How I could be a paranoia at times. No, not at times. But in each second bytes of my life.
There's always momemnts when I'm being noticed of how brief life could be. Often, it leads to another question, what're we looking for in life? d-Uh, I know, cliche as it seems, but for me it so uneasy to answer. Sometimes I hope I could just live and just die in the end. To endure anything that comes in life. Uhuh, yea rite and what about Life Goal? Fortune? Recognition? Awh, all that Maslow theorem? tsk. do they worth of niggling? Ambition, success, and fortune is derived from how the society perceives LIFE. and everything's perceived become 'logic'. so logically, everybody should have ambitions, goals, gain their successes, have happy families, to die in great dignity, etc, etc...How 'life' has been adulterated, impurified by such depiction. It might be true, maybe that's exactly what life is--to be in the, so called Maslow Chain, whereas each sequence is definite. Seeing life that way, it's not that grand no more, is it? It's mere phases. Oh, Could I just..Live? Just like...ehm, Forrest Gump? and not to be attached by how the society perceives life? Suppose not. :-. you, we, ARE the society. So be put. You're part of the system.
Anyway, do you remember the illustration on the end of 'Man In Black' movie, where the image zooms out, from very tiny molecules of ours, to what we are, what we're doing, to what our environment look like from a bird point of view, until our green-blue world turns into one little dots in the galaxy, which itself is apparantly only a marble to somekinda alien, alien in its own world, in its own galaxy which, is apparently a golf ball to a...nother alien%$^@!!? Oh, it's fictional, but it's SO true, on how our lives are TRIVIAL.
Hehe =p Of course it's inapropriate to depict God as an Industrial Engineer. But if is--in a sense of impossibility, of course, Adtagfirullah--, our grand scheme of living, birth, successes, pedigrees, deaths is like building an insurance simulation, mere statistics randomly derived from Poisson distribution! Birth, Death, Birth, Death, Birth, Birth, Death, Birth...number of trials : definite. Each of us are assigned ID, each with its' own queuing number-A number unidentified to ourselves until the time we're then called. to Rahmatullah.
The Idea, hm..tickles me at times I feel so unfocused. Trying this and that, until this moment I haven't been persistent on the goal, one goal of life that should be planned in the first place. I always feel somekinda failure to waste my time on things I know wouldn't aim anything for the goal, or whatever I'd do for the rest of my life. But then, if it's so trivial, why should I have any goal anyway? Because we're only given one shot and such brief time to accomplish it? What's 'it' anyway ? *_*
If life could be so short, I wouldn't have second chance to try it, would I? Why should I bother being persistent and eradicate all other possibilities? It's this moment, or never.--Even if I believe on reincarnation, I wouldn't take my chances. Huh? What? What if I was reincarnated to be a dragonfly? erh...
Anyway, I should stop blabbering. It's totally bootless. As bootless as the time you'd spent reading all the bickering above. Your time is THAT precious!! A reminder for myself.
^_^ What d heck, It was just a fleet of thought...stupid one. don't mind.
Of course,what we're doing in this very ephemeral lives of ours is only to enhance life. For ourselves and others. In every possible way. Aren't we? Even a bit change would count and recorded into the statistics..., and I now realize, like stock movement, the change would be more significant if we stick on one focused pattern, and not be diversified by the whole spectrum of lives may bring about in our lives.
What's the number of my life contributes to the delta? hm. I wonder.
***
21. beatified that I've given chance to encounter my 21st Lebaran.Alhamdulilah. And hopefully my 22nd...Amin...
And guys, Minal Aidin Wal Faidzin. Please DO forgive me. as I always do U.
Anyway, I wonder, If I'm dead, would you still be visiting my FS page? or my blog? how would you remember me? Ehm, Even if you put testimonials, I couldn't be able to approve them, could I? hehe, That'd be creepy. But,=( How sad.
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